At birth our parents gave us names to identify us.  We have carried the name since day one.  Your family and friends know you by your first names, or nickname.  Your co-workers/colleagues know you as Ms. or Mrs. so and so.  For me, I've been Tiwanda for 36 years or as some of friends call me Tia, family 'T' or as BB calls me Twilla!  Others know/call me Ms. Randolph.

Once you get married you assume the name of your husband.  I remember as a young woman getting advice from a woman (who I thought was to be my mother-in-law) that when you get married and take on the husband's name that it was important that you did not lose yourself or identity.  Women hyphenate their name, probably trying not to lose their identity!

In 2003, I gave birth to my wonderful son, Myles.  Someway, somehow I lost my identity.  I was no longer addressed as Tiwanda but as Myles' mother.  His daycare providers, parents of friends, classmates, and teachers have been addressing me as Tiwanda but as Myles' mother.  His daycare providers, parents of friends, classmates, and teachers have been addressing me as Myles' mother.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my child, but before I was his mother, I was Tiwanda!  You know I had that feeling when I went somewhere, I was 'Norm' on Cheers! Hey, even Janet Jackson said in her song her is Janet, Ms. Jackson if you're nasty! LOL!

At a recent parent meeting, a school faculty member said to me, "I know who you are, you're Myles' mother."  Now, I don't want to come off as sounding petty or anything, but in my mind I'm thinking, yeah but my name is Tiwanda,  Instead, I laughed at it and confirmed. Before I walked away I said to her, yes, I'm his mother, but my name is Tiwanda.  I told her that I was delighted she and all of the staff knew my son (for good reasons thank God)  but I had a life and a name before him.  We had a good laugh.

I now make it a point to not correct people when they address me as my sons mother, I just simply say, Hi, I'm Tiwanda!"

Tiwanda M. Randolph
Co-founder & CFO
me (moms extraordinaire)

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