Are You A Helicopter Mom?
R u keepin ^?
R u keepin ^?
translation: Are you keeping up?
In balancing children, career, household and all of the other things that we do as fabulous moms, it can be pretty hard to keep up in this tech savvy world. Remember when you were younger and your mom had neither the time nor interest in your video games, music videos, and said she couldn’t understand what that rap person was saying? Remember thinking “this is the bomb!...she doesn’t know.” Well TI, she probably didn’t; she couldn’t relate.
So, if you are one of those moms who say “I don’t text…I don’t blog…I can’t keep up with this new technology”; think about it carefully. Times are changing and I think it is so important to relate to your child and understand what they are being exposed to. AISI, we need to be one, two, three steps ahead of them. TM…a few years from now, you won’t know what your children are talking about. You will be so far behind and you won’t be LOL.
SWDYT? How r u keepin ^? WB
L8R,
Erica M. Oliver
Co-founder
Moms Extraordinaire
Translations:
TI = Truth Is
AISI= As I See It
TM = To Me
LOL = Laughing Out Loud
SWDYT? = So What Do You Think?
L8R = Later
What's Your Name? Not losing your identity!
At birth our parents gave us names to identify us. We have carried the name since day one. Your family and friends know you by your first names, or nickname. Your co-workers/colleagues know you as Ms. or Mrs. so and so. For me, I've been Tiwanda for 36 years or as some of friends call me Tia, family 'T' or as BB calls me Twilla! Others know/call me Ms. Randolph.
Once you get married you assume the name of your husband. I remember as a young woman getting advice from a woman (who I thought was to be my mother-in-law) that when you get married and take on the husband's name that it was important that you did not lose yourself or identity. Women hyphenate their name, probably trying not to lose their identity!
In 2003, I gave birth to my wonderful son, Myles. Someway, somehow I lost my identity. I was no longer addressed as Tiwanda but as Myles' mother. His daycare providers, parents of friends, classmates, and teachers have been addressing me as Tiwanda but as Myles' mother. His daycare providers, parents of friends, classmates, and teachers have been addressing me as Myles' mother. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my child, but before I was his mother, I was Tiwanda! You know I had that feeling when I went somewhere, I was 'Norm' on Cheers! Hey, even Janet Jackson said in her song her is Janet, Ms. Jackson if you're nasty! LOL!
At a recent parent meeting, a school faculty member said to me, "I know who you are, you're Myles' mother." Now, I don't want to come off as sounding petty or anything, but in my mind I'm thinking, yeah but my name is Tiwanda, Instead, I laughed at it and confirmed. Before I walked away I said to her, yes, I'm his mother, but my name is Tiwanda. I told her that I was delighted she and all of the staff knew my son (for good reasons thank God) but I had a life and a name before him. We had a good laugh.
I now make it a point to not correct people when they address me as my sons mother, I just simply say, Hi, I'm Tiwanda!"
Tiwanda M. Randolph
Co-founder & CFO
me (moms extraordinaire)
Blog and tell us your name or names!
Getting Your Side Hustle On...
There are so many mothers out there that have their own business for one reason or another and we want you to share with us what that business is. Whether your goal is to keep your full-time job and have peace of mind knowing you can quit any day because you have additional streams of income or you just want more flexibility with your life, reply to this blog and give your business a shout-out and tell us what motivated you to start your own business.
Much me Love,
Monique Pryor
Hot Momma Pledge
In the midst of caring for everyone else, it’s easy to lose your look, your vigor and your swagger. Just because we have children we don’t have to resort to sweatpants and minivans. Believe me, I know it is important to be comfortable in the multitude of tasks that we have, but we can look good in doing so. A good whistle from the sidelines never hurt anybody.
How do you keep that “je ne sais qua” that you had pre-motherhood? My friends and I have what we call the Hot Momma Pledge.
Are you a Hot Momma? Do you look in the mirror and see this fabulous woman (from head to toe) staring back at you? If so, then you need not read any further…well maybe a little further. If you find yourself wearing last year’s lipstick, clothes in your closet from the 90’s and that same old Do. Don’t! You don’t want to look like someone’s aunt at a cookout!
Tomorrow – Make an appointment with a new hairstylist that will bring you into the millennium, run to the nearest newsstand for a fashion mag and go to Nordstroms at lunch for a makeover. Time’s a wasting! Now I’m not saying you have to spend a lot of money to look good, after all, inner beauty is free. Utilize the Internet, a great source for bargains and great buys for the savvy hot momma.
So…are you ready? Here’s the Hot Momma Pledge:
I promise to make the time to:
- Stare at myself in the mirror everyday and say “Damn…I look good!”
- Look and feel the best that I ever have
- Stay current (be in the know with music, fashion, current events, etc.)
- Get my work-out on!
- Put good, healthy food in my body
- Treat myself
- Take time out, at lease once a month, to spend with my girlfriends
- Date my husband or significant other
- Make my children proud
- Do the things that are on my “always wanted to do” list
- And last, but not least, take some ‘me’ time!
Can you think of some things to add to the Hot Momma Pledge?
Erica Oliver
Co-Founder
me (moms extraordinaire)
Early Childhood Intervention
Few legislation passes where any President, let alone President Bush, gets overwhelming support from both major parties. However, just one year after President Bush first took office, the No Child Left Behind Act (NCL
passed with support from Republicans and Democrats in Congress. NCLB has led to higher standards and greater accountability throughout the Nation's school systems.
If you have only have teenagers, you may not be unaware of one of the benefits of this Act. In particular, the NCLB in part, has benefited the state of
Now, I am not admitting that I am paranoid (Although, I recently read excerpts from a book entitled “Only the Paranoid Survive” by former Chairman of the Board at Intel) but, when my second child was not rattling off words at 15 months like my oldest had, I became a little concerned. I know, I know…you say she’s just a baby and every child develops differently. I guess I just had Chris Rock’s joke in my head making fun of my culture. He appealed to his fellow African American brethren in his stand up routine a few years ago to admit we all had some cousin when we were growing up that our aunts and uncles would proclaim “Oh there’s nothing wrong with Johnnie, he's just special.” And now 20 years later Johnnie lives above the garage of your aunt’s home unable to take care of himself. I am sure you would have laughed when you heard his delivery but unfortunately it is a serious topic.
So, I began my quest to get my child tested. Remembering that a dear friend had a child that was developmentally delayed a few years ago, I called her up to seek her counsel. A few things were clear after our discussion. First, I was definitely getting my child tested. It’s a free service by the State (Well not exactly. It’s our tax dollars paying for it). Second, I secretly hoped my daughter would be eligible so she could receive the same services that helped my friend’s child come up to speed. These services included a speech therapist that came into her home at hours that were convenient for her twice a week at no charge, periodic evaluations by some of the topic specialist in the State and if she chose, a free pre-school education.
Needless to say, my selfish prayer was not answered and my child was denied into the program (because she was not more than 33% delayed). That’s a good thing…I guess. I was reassured by two of the top therapists from University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey (and not my third-cousin removed whose son lives above the garage…just kidding), who sat on the floor with my child in the comforts of my home and conducted a playful evaluation, that her cognitive learning skills were off the chart and although her speech was a couple months behind, this was fairly normal. So with my daughter’s primary words being Mommy and “no” I was told not to worry, was given a few great tips to help her along and advised to make an appoint in another 4 months.
If I can just give my two cents, it doesn’t hurt to inquire. Let’s be informed and share with others.
Monique Pryor
CEO
mpryor@mymenetwork.com
Redshirting...
Remember the days when you were impressed that a friend graduated high school at 16 or when your best-friend got skipped, leaving you behind as you marveled at their achievements? Well, today such outstanding accomplishments are not receiving the accolades they used to. Parents are increasingly torn between whether to “redshirt,” hold their child back one year to start kindergarten later to ensure academic readiness. There are many factors to consider but is the national media focusing on what most parents are struggling with? Redshirting occurs more often in white affluent families and more boys are redshirted than girls.
My daughter was promoted to kindergarten at her private school. She has always been very mature for her age but still a fun loving child in her own right. When I went to enroll her in first grade at our public school, the school stated that she would have to repeat kindergarten because she was too young to go first grade. My husband and I haven’t decided what we will do. But, I know what you are thinking..”this is not actually redshirting.” True, but it’s in the same family, so let’s keep chatting.
We all agree that we must do what’s best for the child. But for some, the financial sacrifice to redshirt or the opposite of that (keeping your child in private school for an extra year because the cut-off for kindergarten is later) is not available for many parents. And how much sense does it make for us to not take advantage of a public school system that has received great reviews just because our child will lose the status of “I was skipped. or I was redshirted”? Studies on children being skipped and redshirted are inconclusive but for the most part show both types of children are on the same level academically and socially by grade 3. What are parents to do?
Chime in why don't you...
Welcome...
- The girlfriend you have been unable to pick-up to call because you no have no privacy at home or work to talk about your true feelings;
- The mother you can chat with and afterwards you will get a great big e-hug;
- The boss who yearns to hear your mothering woes and truly cares more about that more than the project deadline due tomorrow; and
- The sister who has got your back no matter what.
